


Confession is Good for the Soul

by skargasm



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-22
Updated: 2012-01-22
Packaged: 2017-12-05 02:32:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,986
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/717853
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/skargasm/pseuds/skargasm
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A night of confession that might bring them closer....</p>
            </blockquote>





	Confession is Good for the Soul

**Title:** → Confession is Good for the Soul  
 **Rating:** → NC17  
 **Pairing(s):** → Spike/Angel  
 **Genre:** → AU  
 **Beta(s):** → Unbeta'd but Proofread  
 **Prompt(s):** → Prompt #287 : Surely the Bitterness of Death is at Hand @ [](http://tamingthemuse.livejournal.com/profile)[**tamingthemuse**](http://tamingthemuse.livejournal.com/) & Prompt #17 : Desire @ [](http://kinda-gay.livejournal.com/profile)[**kinda_gay**](http://kinda-gay.livejournal.com/)  
 **Disclaimer:** → ME and Joss own them - I just take 'em, make them do dirty/bad/wrong things then sneak 'em back while no-one is looking!  
 **Summary:** → A night of confession that might bring them closer....  
 **A/N:** → For my day over at [](http://rekindlespangel.livejournal.com/profile)[**rekindlespangel**](http://rekindlespangel.livejournal.com/)  
 **Graphic:** → Banner by [](http://skargasm.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://skargasm.livejournal.com/)**skargasm**  


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[ ](http://imgur.com/FQWc8)

  


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* * *

”What kind of stupid idiotic prophecy starts with _surely the bitterness of death is at hand_!?!”

“Well I hate to say it mate, but you are kinda dead and let's be honest – you can be a right bitter bastard on occasion!” Considering he was hanging by the shoulder from a thick spear, with the toes of his Doctor Martens barely reaching the ground, Spike sounded unbearably chipper. Peering through the darkness – (Angel didn't care what anyone said, there was some depths of black that even a vampire couldn't see through and it had nothing to do with either his diet of animal blood OR advanced age thank you very much) – he knew his jaw dropped open when he saw Spike rummage through his pocket and somehow manage to light a cigarette, all with only his working left hand.

“Do you _have_ to smoke?? What if there's something flammable in here?!” Here was a dank, nasty cave that allegedly held an important artifact, something that couldn't be allowed to get into evil's hands hence he and Spike racing off to get it. He could have done without yet another wild goose chase but the work of a champion seemed never to be done. Why had he signed away his Shanshu again?

“There's nowt flammable in here and you know it. Well, apart from the odd booby trap but I reckon I've set off the main one and you, with your huge bog trotting feet, have definitely put your foot in the other one!” Spike was smirking around his cigarette, Angel just knew it. And unfortunately with good reason – if he had to choose between being stuck to the wall by a spear through the chest and his current predicament, he would happily swap places in a second. “So, do you reckon it's for real then?!”

“What?”

“You know what. You reckon if I ask, you have to answer and tell the truth?”

“Not necessarily.”

“Seems to be though don't it?!” Sighing, Angel realised he wasn't going to be able to fudge his way past this one.

“Yeah, yeah it does. So go on – ask away. But be careful what you ask because you won't necessarily like the answers.”

* * *

Did he want to know the answers? Spike wasn't sure and his shoulder was burning like a bitch. He didn't want to bring it to Angel's attention if the great Pouf hadn't already noticed, but the hole in the roof they had come through gave him quite a nice view of the stars stuck where he was. Which meant when the sun came up in less than an hour, they would both get to burn up faster than he had done in Sunnydale. With that in mind, he figured he might as well ask the questions – but perhaps not the ones Angel was expecting.

“When you found out – what were you jealous of?”

“What?!”

“You heard. Know the pair of us went off after her like a couple o'idiots when she was running around with that ponce, but when you found out about me an'her, what were you most jealous of?” Even in the darkness of the cave, he could see the stunned look on Angel's face. Nope, he definitely hadn't been expecting that question. Now all that remained to be seen was whether or not that spelled item wrapped around his broad chest would kick in and force him to tell the truth.

“Both.” Angel's voice was strained and taking a guess, Spike pushed a little further.

“But most?”

“Spike - “

“That weren't an answer – that was just me name. What were you really jealous of Liam? Was it the thought of me an' her in bed together, or in love together?? Which pissed you off the most eh? That I could have that with her or that I might have had her heart as well?” Angel's laughter took him by surprised, and he sucked his teeth angrily – there was no need for Angel to laugh about it.

“God, you don't get it at all do you. I was jealous of both of **you** \- not jealous that you could sleep with her and have her love. I was more jealous of the fact that she had your heart!! Damned thing stopped beating over a hundred years ago but has more love in it than many humans I have met.” Spike actually dropped the cigarette in shock – that was so not what he had been expecting to hear. He had thought Angel might be more jealous that Buffy actually cared about him in her way than them actually fucking, but to find out that he was jealous of _Buffy_? “I love Buffy – you know I do – but Spike, the history we have, what we've shared, I - “

“Wait, wait!! Just hang on, yeah??”

“Surprised you huh?”

“Yeah just a bit.” Silence. He wished he hadn't dropped his cigarette. He didn't think he could take the pain necessary to be able to reach into his pocket again, the spear through his shoulder close enough to his lung to make things extremely uncomfortable. All it would take would be a small splinter to shift towards his heart and he wouldn't have to wait for the sun. Although it was getting warmer.

“Nothing to say? Something for the history books. If I had known that all I had to do to get you to shut up was tell you how I felt I might have done this long ago. Shame it took a coming sunrise and a truth spell to accomplish it.”

“Sunrise?”

“Yeah. A few years older than you Spike – I can feel the sun coming. You have a better view than I do – what do we have, 30 minutes?”

“Yeah about that.” Spike's mouth had gone dry when Angel had spoken – was that what he had done? Told Spike how he felt? “When you say how you felt - “

“Felt. Feel. Doesn't matter now though does it?” A sense of sadness overtook Spike and he automatically fought against the feeling. He shifted around, trying once more to see if he could pull himself away from the spear with no success – damned thing had him bang to rights. The cave was getting warmer, the sky lighter and time was definitely running out. About summed up his unlife – Angelus was finally, _finally_ saying something Spike wanted to hear and it had to be just before they were both going to burn to a crisp. Fucking fate was laughing at him and no mistake.

He wondered whether or not he should say anything, although to his way of thinking Angel would have to be blind, dumb and stupid not to realise how Spike felt about him. Regardless of desertion, torture and battles ending in Mountain Dew, Spike had pretty much always worn his heart on his sleeve and Angel had to know how he felt about him. Although, considering who he was thinking about, maybe that wasn't the case. Maybe the Pouf didn't know and Spike was going to have to lay his heart on the line for real and just before he dusted. The only good thing he could see in the entire situation was that if Angel was just messing with him, he'd be dead before his heart could break. So maybe he would take the chance – maybe he would tell Angel how he felt and bugger the consequences. He'd already had a declaration of ongoing feeling from the other vampire – wouldn't it be less than gentlemanly of him if he didn't return the favour and spill some truth?

“Angelus, I - “

“They're here!!! We've got them!” The sound of Cammy and the team coming from above wasn't quite what Spike had been expecting, and a quick look over at Angel revealed that his fellow vampire was also torn – perhaps he had wanted to hear what Spike had to say?

* * *

Copious amounts of human blood and a full two days wrapped up warm and sleeping went a long way to repairing the hole in Spike's shoulder. He could hear Angel in the room opposite, complaining bitterly about just how long it was taking to unwrap the 'truth vine' from his body, especially since pretty much every member of their team seemed to take the opportunity to ask a few questions. Spike almost felt sorry for the big lug if it wasn't for the fact that he bloody well deserved it – he needed to tell people how he felt a lot more often and not just when he was on the verge of being dusted.

It was the middle of the night and things were fortunately quiet and he was sick and tired of sleeping on his own. That, and if Angelus was going to take back what he had said he wanted to know sooner rather than later. Staggering slightly, he opened his bedroom door and peered down the corridor – no sign of any of their unofficial nursemaids – and shuffling his feet he tottered towards and finally through Angel's bedroom door. The room was in darkness but he could see the lump of Angel's body in the big bed, and he made his way over, not even trying to be quiet. Flipping back the red brocade sheet, Spike flopped bonelessly onto the bed.

“Oi! Shove over you big lump!” Angel's groan and snuffles were followed by a thick arm reaching out and yanking Spike into his side, before he was pressed tight against the familiar bulk of Angel's body. Decades and decades, and it felt like coming home....

“Angelus - “

“Shut up.”

“But - “

“Shut. Up. Enough talking. You know how I feel. I know how you feel. I finally got rid of that infernal truth vine and our entire team of know-it-alls and all I want is to sleep. With you. So shut up unless you want me to find something else for your mouth to do!!”

“Well - “

* * *

“I really don't think - “

“I just want to see that he's okay – he'll be fine with it, trust me!” The muted sound of Cammy arguing with someone and losing woke Spike from a sound sleep, and groaning he turned over in the bed, jumping when he bumped up against another body. The aches and pains in his back, arse and legs as well as the sight of Angel with sleep creases on one cheek, a smile slightly tilting the corners of his mouth, quickly reminded Spike of where he was and why. He ran his fingers gently across the sleep creases, shifting backwards as Angel opened his eyes and stared at him. For a moment, he panicked, wondering what Angel was thinking, what he might say. Then a soft smile split Angel's face and a large hand reached out and grabbed his hand, holding it against the raspiness of a stubbled cheek. Holy shit, were they really going to do this? Was life – or unlife – going to actually give him this??

Still holding Angel's almost loving gaze, he sat up slowly and shuffled to the edge of the bed, watching as Angel used powerful arms to push himself to a sitting position and move back against the pillows. They stared at each other, a frozen moment ripe with possibilities and opportunities. Spike finally pulled his eyes away from the promises that Angel's eyes seemed to be making and turned as the door opened, a gasp leaving him as Angel exclaimed in shock “Buffy!”

* * *

fin

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End file.
